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I once went on this bad date with this girl and after dinner she went to the bathroom for 20 minutes and i went in there to go see what she was doing and if she was okay, luckily she was in the family bathroom and she was passed out on the floor and there was throw up all over the room and it turns out she was bulimic and now she is in a mental hospital for her eating disorder :(

rhe first time my current BF and I fooled around was after one of his bands shows. So it’s 6 am, we’re both plastered and more than a little high. We get in the bed and start fooling around. After maybe 3 minutes, my body decides to do a backflip off the bed which results in me landing on my head in the middle of the room. He immediately starts asking if I’m ok. To which I give a chipper “Fine!” and pop back up and onto the bed before he can even sit up. To say he w... More ->

When i first started seeing my man it was quite embarassing. we had stayed at his and decided to get pizza and watch some movies. All in all it was a brilliant night, except for the fact that:
1-I fell asleep on him
2-I dribbled, whilst sleeping on him
3-I snored! (which i never do)
4-I got an upset tummy
5-and my period came. brilliant.
But, we’re still together now though haha lasting impression!!

It’s not difficult for me to make a tit out of myself on any given day but this one day in particular, i was out with my boyfriend seeing a friends band play then off to a club after. En route to the club and on a train i asked him if we could get off round the corner so i dint bump into anyone from work…… Erm, we were on a train! THEN! later on that night, post clubbing and copious amouts of beer later, we get some food and go home. Shortly after getting in i run to the toilet... More ->

My girlfriend was laying on my chest resting when she then looked up at me and said, “They should make bras for men” :(

While at my friends Christmas party I met a cute guy and we hit it off or so I thought we did! We talked, we laughed, shared cake exchanged numbers and he even facebook friended me; but now nothing! He he hasn’t called or messaged me and I’ve sent him like a hundred texts messages! What the Hell is wrong with me!!!!!

I booked a surprise spa treatment for my girlfriend to celebrate her birthday. But to my surprise she began screaming at me and crying when she found out it part of it was a chocolate body wrap!! She says i was inconsiderate of her eating disorder?!!! To which I could only reply, “What eating disorder?!!!!!!!!!”

I was out with my dad and a friend of mine when my friend let slip out the fake name I go by when I don’t want girls to know my real name. My dad laughed and said he use to do the same thing and then told me his old fake name. The fucked up part is its the same name of my girlfriend’s supposed dad, which her mom had a fling with while on vacation, but was never able to contact afterward.  There’s a slight chance my girlfriend is my half sister!

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.